holiness to the lord.

friday was the day.

i posted these words on instagram and they are totally true

I love to see the temple, I'm going there today to feel the Holy Spirit, to listen and to pray. 

For the temple is a House of God, a place of love and beauty. 

I've prepared myself while I was young; this is my sacred duty.

ever since i was in primary, i have sung the song "I Love to See the Temple"

and sung about going inside some day.

up until last year, i always thought that it would so that i could be married in the temple

a few short weeks after.

but as i read my patriarchal blessing again, and began to understand that the Lord

wanted me to serve a mission, i have known that i would be going through the temple

so that a few weeks later, i could go and do what the Lord had commanded me to do:

serve the people.

friday was the day that i had spent years dreaming about.

what did the rest of the temple look like?

i had been inside of the atlanta temple before, during an open house,

and i remember being taken aback by the simple beauty there was to behold there.

what i didn't understand, is how much more beautiful it is after it had been dedicated.

sitting in the center of the temple, with people who love and support you, 

and with people you hardly know, yet share a common reason for being there,

is such an amazing feeling. 

there was another family there, taking their son through the temple

so that he would be prepared to serve as well.

he reports to the mexico city mtc a few weeks after i report to the provo one,

but the joy was there on his face that i felt in my heart.

there are many wonderful things that i can't discuss with you about the temple,

but the beauty still exists. the covenants i made there are special to me, 

and i don't want anyone to ever jeopardize that for me, or for themselves.

i know understand why the mission of the missionaries is to get investigators to the temple.

there are so many beautiful things that simply solidify the testimony that you have already.

if you can, go. prepare yourself, understand the proper reason for going.

and get yourself to the temple. 

"I urge all who have not yet received these greatest of all blessings within the walls of the temple to do whatever may be necessary to qualify to receive them."

-James E. Faust-

it's in...

as of yesterday at 4:20 pm. 

my mission papers have been submitted to salt lake city.

REPEAT:

my mission papers have been submitted.

you really can't tell how excited i am through this post.

i was doing a little happy dance when i got the stake president's voicemail.

no lies.

the reason that they weren't submitted on monday night:

-the doctor didn't write down my pulse

-i didn't have a recent dental x-ray

-we didn't have what my vision was with my glasses (20/20 of course!)

-they were worried about only having half of my hep a vaccination complete,

but my bishop reassured the man submitting the paperwork that i could

get the second dose in the MTC if necessary.

-the doctor didn't write down the results of my blood work

but, we got it all squared away, and now i play the waiting game!

MY PAPERS ARE IN!

i was doing dancing around the island listening to the voicemail.

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1. i started bringing my preach my gospel book to work

and reading while we have a few minutes lull, and it's been great!

2. CHECK MARK! 

i mean, that is why i am writing this post after all...

3. we decided that we are going to do it ourselves!

stitching in the ditch and sewing the longest diagonal ever,

we figured it would just be easier than sewing a four inch border

all the way around a king-sized quilt.

so CHECK MARK!

4. i look forward to having my schedules here in the next day or two,

and then i can plan with them!

5. i love the relief that i find while playing the piano,

and i have been able to pick through and

semi-confidently play through a lot of the hymns.

6. have been doing great. being home yesterday kind of helped that a lot too.

i used my once-a-week-eat-out card yesterday when we 

ordered in hibachi. yumm...

it's going to be a little easier this week to eat healthier because

i get off a a little bit more of a normal "lunch" time.

great hugs

the beginning of november is always a time for reflection for me. 

the year is almost over and i seriously sit and reflect at all of the annual goals i didn't ever get to.

i also try and make a mental note of my "grateful fors" and make a list. 

sunday in relief society, the teacher handed around ten slips of paper. 

each had a question on it asking us something we were grateful for in different situations. 

i got the question: what experience are you thankful for this week and why? 

saturday i worked my first birthday party at the trampoline park 

{one of my two brand new jobs} 

and i had no idea what i was doing even though it had been explained to me a couple of times.

i didn't let it on that i was new and had never done this before 

until the birthday party was almost over. 

the party mom looked at me and said, "you're doing great. I had no idea." 

my coworkers had been assuring me all day that i was doing great,

but to hear it from a perfect stranger was the comfort i needed. 

with all this new stuff, i am really missing the old stuff. 

i'm really, really missing my bar t-5 friends 

and the people that i interacted with while in jackson.

 the job was comfortable and the people are and were amazing. 

i see all of my friends going about school and work, 

and i wish i was there to see them in person more often.

on halloween, we all went back to the summer and went cowboy.

i feel like almost all of us posted a picture of ourselves,

dressed up in perfect cowboy outfits. 

i miss it so much, but i know that with all good things, 

they come to an end. 

i miss the stable hours and the fact that i knew 

how much was going to be on the next paycheck.

{salary has its perks and downsides}

 i could hang out with people my age 

simply by walking out of the bedroom door

 and it was always an environment i felt safe interacting in. 

never any raunchy situations. 

i miss cuddling on the couch watching a movie and
just sitting next to a great friend with his arm around me.
i also miss seth's hugs.
he always knew exactly when you needed a great hug.

but then again, i know that jackson is now a part of me 

and i will be back again. soon.

the friends i made this summer are forever. 

even if some of us are thousands of miles apart from each other. 

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goal update:

1. focusing on setting aside time to do it, 

in the evenings before i sit down to watch tv. 

2. one more interview tomorrow and then my papers will be submitted!

3. tomorrow i don't work in the afternoon, so i can get the help i need 

from mom to get the back pieced together. 

and then off to the quilter it can go!

4. i will have my shifts for next week by wednesday for my retail job 

and then i can set a time for next week! 

5. i am going through the hymns and playing the ones i have heard before 

to try and get a feel for how they are played. 

i have an easier time playing something i have heard before,

 so i am going through and playing the right hand 

and then adding the left hand in. i'm getting better! 

one of the saddest weekends.

goal update:

1. i'm using an excuse that it got busy at work with the take down of everything, 

but i truly had the time. i just didn't make the time. 

and i've kind of missed the boat on the having it read by the time i get home. 

that day comes in four days!!

almost home bound. almost.

2.  the ball is currently in his court. i'm pretty sure of his answer,

but it's in his court.

3. i saw them on saturday at lagoon, 

and i was able to genuinely say "congratulations" to both their faces.

yea for small victories.

4. i have to compile a new list of addresses, 

because my list is very outdated at this point.

so many new missionaries, so many calls.

and no time to write them all.

5. progress is being made.

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i really hate goodbyes. and saying goodbye at lagoon was one of the hardest things ever.

living with a group of 30+ people every day, all day for five months,
really makes you a tight-knit group.

like seriously.

i had to say good-bye to one of my best guy friends
friday night after one of the most perfect dates ever.
he has helped me through a lot of relationship stuff, and is almost the perfect guy for me.
but it didn't fit right.

saturday morning came, and rae was going to come with me to lagoon,
but because of some homework and church things, she had to back out.
this was the start of one of the longest days ever. and one of the best.

one thing you should understand about me, i'm not a huge adrenaline junkie.
i do not enjoy rollercoasters; i like it when my stomach does not sit in my throat.
i found all my friends, and was able to hang out with everyone for a little bit.
thankfully, hilary was on the same page as me, and we hung out together.

there was a LOT of reminiscing and a lot of laughs.
the first time in almost two months that most of us were all together.
two of our bosses spent a lot of hours putting together a slideshow
of pictures of this summer and i almost cried on several occasions.

we got all of our bosses into the bumper cars and had a blast.
even watched two of the guys slingshot themselves into oblivion...
scary stuff.

i really don't love saying goodbye, and it was hard.
but it had to happen.

i will return.

the square dancer.

an update on my goal keeping.

1. not doing so hot. 

i went to utah to visit some family last weekend and it totally got me off. 

i spent sunday and monday in utah and i didn't read. 

terrible excuse, but i got off and i haven't gotten back on, yet. 

that's on the to-do list for today.

2. i really need to talk with him and 

i found my opportunity: this weekend we are going camping as a crew, 

and i think i can get a captive audience on the ride up to the campsite.

3. i have accepted it. he is getting married. 

in other news: BAMBI is engaged! Team Danny has won! 

4. i need to write one of my missionaries back 

because she was nice enough to write me!

 i missed the boat on my guam missionary (literally and figuratively), 

but i can message him now, so no need to waste a stamp.

5. getting better... but i could still use some improvement. and some = a lot still.

i took one of those online surveys yesterday because i was killing time before work 

(admittedly, i should have been packing or reading my scriptures or Preach My Gospel).

this one was titled "what type of dancer are you?" and

apparently i fit the profile of a square dancer.

i thought it rather fitting.

i love country music

i spent about five hours each week for two semesters dancing to country music.

these are the reasons they thought i fit the profile:
You are old-fashioned and you plan to stay that way.
Your values are old school and you make no apologies for it.
The music of today makes you shake your head
and wonder what the world has come to.

yeah, that pretty much sums it up.

trying to get better.

i need to get better at this goal keeping thing.

and i have seen it work to publish your goals and 

report on your progress every once in a while.

so here it goes.

1. read the Book of Mormon and study Preach My Gospel every day.

BONUS: have read all of Preach My Gospel by the time i get home in October.

2. figure out my dating/hanging out/cuddling situation.

{it's complicated...}

3. get over the fact that Great Cuddler is engaged to his missionary.

4. write my missionaries, especially the one that gets home in two weeks from Guam.

5. get better with daily prayers. no more falling asleep during my night prayers.

so people of the internet, until next week when i will 

hopefully have gotten somewhere with my goals.

a reading goal

my reading goal for August 2013 to July 2014: read the 34 books on The Big Read list by NEA. advantageous, but I really love reading. plus, I've already read some of them. so I'm kind of cheating. maybe... I haven't decided about that part yet. finding all of these books could be interesting because I don't know how many of them I will be able to find at the libraries here. and I only have access to the electronic library of books back home. wish me luck!

for those wondering which books are included in The Big Read:

In the Time of the Butterflies Julia Alvarez

Bless Me, Ultima Rudolfo Anaya

Fahrenheit 451 Ray Bradbury

My Antonia Willa Cather

The Poetry of Emily Dickinson

Love Medicine Louise Erdrich

The Great Gatsby F. Scott Fitzgerald

A Lesson Before Dying Ernest J. Gaines

The Maltese Falcon Dashiell Hammett

A Farewell to Arms Ernest Hemingway

Sun, Stone, and Shadows (edited by) Jorge F. Hernandez

Their Eyes Were Watching God Zora Neale Hurston

Washington Square Henry James

The Poetry of Robinson Jeffers

The Namesake Jhumpa Lahiri

A Wizard of Earthsea Ursula K. Le Guin

To Kill a Mockingbird Harper Lee

The Call of the Wild Jack London

The Poetry of Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

The Thief and the Dogs Naguib Mahfouz

The Heart Is a Lonely Hunter Carson McCullers

The Things They Carried Tim O’Brien

The Shawl Cynthia Ozick

Great Tales and Poems of Edgar Allan Poe

True Grit Charles Portis

Housekeeping Marilynne Robinson

The Grapes of Wrath John Steinbeck

The Joy Luck Club Amy Tan

The Death of Ivan Ilyich Leo Tolstoy

The Adventures of Tom Sawyer Mark Twain

Into the Beautiful North Luis Alberto Urrea

The Age of Innocence Edith Wharton

The Bridge of San Luis Rey and Our Town Thornton Wilder

Old School Tobias Wolff

Happy Reading!