my love life is seriously in the tanks.
the guy that i did like is practically in love with another girl who is just waiting through the days before she goes on her mission. i have done pretty much everything to try and be cool and be his friend, but that just wasn't working for me. i was letting him string me out and i finally had enough of it last wednesday at swing dancing. he spent the entire evening attached to her like she was his girlfriend and if i am honest with myself, i was so jealous. i wanted him to be looking at me like that, like i was the girl that he wanted to spend time with, not the clingy girl that needs affirmation from him. so after i dropped off my passengers off at the apartment, i went and spent some time in the car, writing down my last good-bye down on a napkin. yea, a napkin.
i wrote down all the feelings that i had and told him everything that i had ever wanted to say. but i can't tell bring myself to tell him about. to go up to him and tell him.
so i really have no idea what to do, except to avoid looking for his truck in the parking lot and try and connect with other people at swing dancing. to not hang around him and try not to get him to ask me for a dance. to finally heed my parents' and ryan's advice and make him do the work. be a girl for once and let him do the work.
and how difficult that is proving.
