momma mia

this week.

for realz. 

it's been so long. 

i literally feel as if it's been monday all week long. 

let me explain: 

between my two jobs this week, i worked an excess of 60 hours. 

that's right. SIXTY! 

and gurl, you better believed i worked for it.

i worked two-fourteen hour work days.

#showmethemula

but that wasn't even the longest day this week. 

wednesday i was at one job from 5am-2pm 

and then had to be at my other job at 3:30pm to 9:30pm.

needless to say, i'm exhausted and was in desperate need of a sunday.

during the forty-five minute break i got in between my two jobs on thursday,

i stumbled across this article on facebook and had to share.

because this really was me at one point.

i took the "be prepared" motto for the boy scouts to heart during high school.

plus, i just love the bridesmaids reference.

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1. baby steps. and i am getting better.

this week was rough for me physically though.

2. getting a dental x-ray to "dot an i" tomorrow to be safe,

but they should be submitted tomorrow night!

3. it will be completed this week.

my mom is holding me accountable.

4. check for today! went and got to see some of the people

that they are investigating and it's really exciting to see the

countenance change when they open up to the idea of being comforted by the gospel.

add to goals: pray that sabrina may be able to find a job and be able to better her life

for her kids.

sabrina is an investigators that the sisters are working with right now.

we challenged her tonight to join us at church on sunday, and the sisters

have another meeting with her on tuesday. she is trying to figure out her life

and is trying to get a stable job so that she can move on to better things. she is a 

single mother and wants her kids to have a better life than what she is currently living.

she is trying to go to school and get a nursing degree so that she can provide for her kids.

the epitome of a strong woman, trying to do better, all for the sake of her children.

5. funny story: actually got asked today *twice i might add* at church to play.

i was able to play prelude music to sacrament meeting (the semi-equivalent to mass

at a catholic church) and then was asked again to play in relief society, but was not

comfortable playing the songs that had been picked to go along with the lesson.

mommy to the rescue!

i have some spare time this week (actually a lot of spare time, compared to last week)

and will be working a lot of my goals.

NEW!

6. exercise more frequently and eat better.

take something substantial to eat at work while on break,

and don't eat snack foods as a meal.

spend part of my "break" walking on the treadmill for a little bit.

great hugs

the beginning of november is always a time for reflection for me. 

the year is almost over and i seriously sit and reflect at all of the annual goals i didn't ever get to.

i also try and make a mental note of my "grateful fors" and make a list. 

sunday in relief society, the teacher handed around ten slips of paper. 

each had a question on it asking us something we were grateful for in different situations. 

i got the question: what experience are you thankful for this week and why? 

saturday i worked my first birthday party at the trampoline park 

{one of my two brand new jobs} 

and i had no idea what i was doing even though it had been explained to me a couple of times.

i didn't let it on that i was new and had never done this before 

until the birthday party was almost over. 

the party mom looked at me and said, "you're doing great. I had no idea." 

my coworkers had been assuring me all day that i was doing great,

but to hear it from a perfect stranger was the comfort i needed. 

with all this new stuff, i am really missing the old stuff. 

i'm really, really missing my bar t-5 friends 

and the people that i interacted with while in jackson.

 the job was comfortable and the people are and were amazing. 

i see all of my friends going about school and work, 

and i wish i was there to see them in person more often.

on halloween, we all went back to the summer and went cowboy.

i feel like almost all of us posted a picture of ourselves,

dressed up in perfect cowboy outfits. 

i miss it so much, but i know that with all good things, 

they come to an end. 

i miss the stable hours and the fact that i knew 

how much was going to be on the next paycheck.

{salary has its perks and downsides}

 i could hang out with people my age 

simply by walking out of the bedroom door

 and it was always an environment i felt safe interacting in. 

never any raunchy situations. 

i miss cuddling on the couch watching a movie and
just sitting next to a great friend with his arm around me.
i also miss seth's hugs.
he always knew exactly when you needed a great hug.

but then again, i know that jackson is now a part of me 

and i will be back again. soon.

the friends i made this summer are forever. 

even if some of us are thousands of miles apart from each other. 

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goal update:

1. focusing on setting aside time to do it, 

in the evenings before i sit down to watch tv. 

2. one more interview tomorrow and then my papers will be submitted!

3. tomorrow i don't work in the afternoon, so i can get the help i need 

from mom to get the back pieced together. 

and then off to the quilter it can go!

4. i will have my shifts for next week by wednesday for my retail job 

and then i can set a time for next week! 

5. i am going through the hymns and playing the ones i have heard before 

to try and get a feel for how they are played. 

i have an easier time playing something i have heard before,

 so i am going through and playing the right hand 

and then adding the left hand in. i'm getting better! 

home!

i have finally reached it:

HOME!

nothing describes the relief that was felt 

when i saw the familiar interstate exits after ten months.

i almost cried.

but after over 29 hours in the car, i was ready for my own bed.

my grandparents were saints, and helped drive me the 29 hours to k-town.

my grandfather is a history nut, so one of the stipulations of the cross country drive,

was that we had to stop at a couple of historical sites on our way. 

stopping at winter quarters, missouri and nauvoo, illinois only added two hours to the drive.

they have some great visitors centers at both places, 

and we were able to learn and see a lot of neat things.

and of course, my grandfather got to show his extensive knowledge of Church History.

the poor ladies at both visitors centers didn't hold a candlestick to his vast knowledge.

it was really cool though to learn more about church history at those two places.

the gorgeous nauvoo temple.
rebuilt in all its pre-fire glory.

since i have been home, i have been busy!

got two jobs.

have been to multiple doctors' offices.

been used as a pin cushion to get vaccines.

filled out paperwork for my mission for 

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

and have gotten my t-shirt quilt almost ready for the quilters.

i am one doctors appointment and two interviews away from submitting my mission papers

and i am ecstatic!

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goals:

1. read and study the scriptures and Preach My Gospel daily.

2. finish my mission papers and get them submitted.

3. get my t-shirt quilt into the quilt shop.

4. go out with the sister missionaries at least one every two weeks.

5. practice the hymns so i can play more than two sufficiently.

one of the saddest weekends.

goal update:

1. i'm using an excuse that it got busy at work with the take down of everything, 

but i truly had the time. i just didn't make the time. 

and i've kind of missed the boat on the having it read by the time i get home. 

that day comes in four days!!

almost home bound. almost.

2.  the ball is currently in his court. i'm pretty sure of his answer,

but it's in his court.

3. i saw them on saturday at lagoon, 

and i was able to genuinely say "congratulations" to both their faces.

yea for small victories.

4. i have to compile a new list of addresses, 

because my list is very outdated at this point.

so many new missionaries, so many calls.

and no time to write them all.

5. progress is being made.

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i really hate goodbyes. and saying goodbye at lagoon was one of the hardest things ever.

living with a group of 30+ people every day, all day for five months,
really makes you a tight-knit group.

like seriously.

i had to say good-bye to one of my best guy friends
friday night after one of the most perfect dates ever.
he has helped me through a lot of relationship stuff, and is almost the perfect guy for me.
but it didn't fit right.

saturday morning came, and rae was going to come with me to lagoon,
but because of some homework and church things, she had to back out.
this was the start of one of the longest days ever. and one of the best.

one thing you should understand about me, i'm not a huge adrenaline junkie.
i do not enjoy rollercoasters; i like it when my stomach does not sit in my throat.
i found all my friends, and was able to hang out with everyone for a little bit.
thankfully, hilary was on the same page as me, and we hung out together.

there was a LOT of reminiscing and a lot of laughs.
the first time in almost two months that most of us were all together.
two of our bosses spent a lot of hours putting together a slideshow
of pictures of this summer and i almost cried on several occasions.

we got all of our bosses into the bumper cars and had a blast.
even watched two of the guys slingshot themselves into oblivion...
scary stuff.

i really don't love saying goodbye, and it was hard.
but it had to happen.

i will return.

the square dancer.

an update on my goal keeping.

1. not doing so hot. 

i went to utah to visit some family last weekend and it totally got me off. 

i spent sunday and monday in utah and i didn't read. 

terrible excuse, but i got off and i haven't gotten back on, yet. 

that's on the to-do list for today.

2. i really need to talk with him and 

i found my opportunity: this weekend we are going camping as a crew, 

and i think i can get a captive audience on the ride up to the campsite.

3. i have accepted it. he is getting married. 

in other news: BAMBI is engaged! Team Danny has won! 

4. i need to write one of my missionaries back 

because she was nice enough to write me!

 i missed the boat on my guam missionary (literally and figuratively), 

but i can message him now, so no need to waste a stamp.

5. getting better... but i could still use some improvement. and some = a lot still.

i took one of those online surveys yesterday because i was killing time before work 

(admittedly, i should have been packing or reading my scriptures or Preach My Gospel).

this one was titled "what type of dancer are you?" and

apparently i fit the profile of a square dancer.

i thought it rather fitting.

i love country music

i spent about five hours each week for two semesters dancing to country music.

these are the reasons they thought i fit the profile:
You are old-fashioned and you plan to stay that way.
Your values are old school and you make no apologies for it.
The music of today makes you shake your head
and wonder what the world has come to.

yeah, that pretty much sums it up.

this week.

is off to a rough start. like seriously.

monday was a long day. we didn't have a show that day, so the boss-men took the majority of the crew and went and played lumberjack on the mountain. 100 trees, cut for posts and rails, and 12 soaked and sore crew members later, they were really ready to come home. celeste, baby tiff, pat, and i were asked to stay down here and cover the office and prepare for the week. i helped pat in the office until lunch, and then celeste and baby tiff gave me a baptism by fire into the life of a cook. i helped make ranch, bagged brownies, sorted raw chicken, and pretty much just tried to keep up with these lovely ladies. we stopped a little early and had dinner ready for the crew when they got back. and we cleaned the house. but guess how long a clean house lasted. if you guessed less than 12 hours, you were right.

tuesday. can we just take a moment of silence that this day is over? like really. let me preface: two weeks ago, we got a phone call asking if a group of 200 people could come to the show. we can only take 170 people on ten wagons. 200 people would require bringing over two wagons that are used on the mountain and praying that they didn't bring any more people. we let the lady know we could work it out and the stressing began. the coordinator for the group decided that it would be too much of a distraction to have alcohol at the event (which is usually not allowed, but with private events, we give them the option, but they have to work it out and we just lay it out.) she sent us payment for the tickets, as well as the gratuity for the evening, a couple of days in advance, but then we got an email a couple of days ago, asking how many ABOVE 200 people they could go. we cried a little inside and said, we could do about 205 before we had to started strapping people to the top of the wagons. (sarcasm, of course.) we had a lot of people booked on the other show, so we had a double last night. which is UNHEARD of this late in the season [our last day is friday]. david, our foreman, pulled all sorts of strings and brought oodles of help in to drive teams and help the cooks feed 200 people before midnight. i don't know if i should be grateful or cry because i missed the opportunity to see a 12-wagon show, but the group didn't bring 30 people (something they can't even explain), but it relieved a huge burden for the cooks. feeding 200 people is a lot of chicken, beef, beans, corn, the works. and we don't have hours to get them from the chow-line. plus, it's a tad bit stressful to keep 200 people warm while it's 40 degrees outside and you only have enough lap blankets for about 170 of them. needless to say, david and chris were stressed. which in turn had pat stressed. who in turn had me stressed. it was a relief to have that crazy day OVER with.

and the week is about to get crazier. we will have 11 wagons on our last night and the next couple of nights are over 100 people. those are good sized shows for the end of the season. i'm excited for the next couple of days because anything will be easier than the last couple of days. let's just pray that no one else calls and asks to bring 200 people tomorrow.

trying to get better.

i need to get better at this goal keeping thing.

and i have seen it work to publish your goals and 

report on your progress every once in a while.

so here it goes.

1. read the Book of Mormon and study Preach My Gospel every day.

BONUS: have read all of Preach My Gospel by the time i get home in October.

2. figure out my dating/hanging out/cuddling situation.

{it's complicated...}

3. get over the fact that Great Cuddler is engaged to his missionary.

4. write my missionaries, especially the one that gets home in two weeks from Guam.

5. get better with daily prayers. no more falling asleep during my night prayers.

so people of the internet, until next week when i will 

hopefully have gotten somewhere with my goals.

coming to a close.

i have recently realized that this idealistic vacation summer is coming to a close. jackson's weather has begun to become erratic and extremely temperamental. last week, we had two days where i was freezing while wearing my long underwear and a long sleeve tshirt under my jeans, long socks, and long sleeved button up for work. and then the next day-- sunshine and rainbows, literally. the calendar marks are slowly getting too close to our last show and the memories are starting to flood. i made an album on facebook of most of the pictures that i have taken this summer. heaven knows that there are way more adventures than have been captured on film.




i also realized that i have been slacking severely on my study of the Book of Mormon and Preach My Gospel. i really need to work on that, so that i can be prepared to put my mission papers in! i have been waiting for this day for a while, and the day is coming more quickly than i had imagined. in just over a month, i will hopefully sitting in my bishop's office, starting the process!

two of the girls and three of the girls that i graduated with are in the mission field (which reminds me that it's time to start writing for the month...) and i can't wait to join them. one of my friends is serving in the mission that includes utah state, which is especially funny because she went to byu before her mission. just makes life that much more fun. i love her though, and i am so excited for her.

also, check out a blog for me. byuadventurous.blogspot.com  this is another one of the girls that i graduated with and she's pretty much the cutest.

where does the time go?

seriously, i feel like the summer still has months left in it. instead, there are just three short weeks between me and the beginning of a semester that i won't be participating in. maybe that's why i'm so lost. summer blends straight into fall for me, so there is no clear deadline for fun in the near future. my summer break extends clear into the fall break for my siblings.

so, where has the time gone? we made a weekend out of a stay in Grace, Idaho {aka the perfect small farming community.} i personally had a blast! we drove down friday night after show a few weeks ago and slept all over Momma Brady's house and lawn. we woke up the next morning to Momma Brady's delicious breakfast burritos and the discussion about some mexican salsa/pico de gallo. most of us spent the day wandering around Logan. i had some errands to run, so i went and saw Grandma Allen while i was there {but mostly to go shopping at Casa de la Grandma.}

once most of us were back from Logan, we helped Momma Brady with some outside chores as payback. because 20 hands make much lighter work than the two she was working with. ;) after the ground was good enough that she could lay seed, we went and did the only fun things to do in Grace: flooming and jumping at 60. what is that, you may ask? flooming is dangerously riding down the canal water down a floom {picture a slide suspended 200 feet above the river, and you have enough of an idea to get it} and then skipping across rotting boards laid along the top of the floom. jumping from 60 is about what it sounds like: jumping from a rock that extends over a spot in the river that is 60 feet deep. it was high enough, i probably could have attempted to tuck and roll, but i didn't get up the nerve to. a perfect summer bar-b-que and a sketchy game of kick the can later, we played a Bourne movie outside. one of those picturesque summer days full of dumb things you will probably never forget.

update on the love life: still sucks. Great Cuddler's missionary came home and i've been trying with futility to try and play it off cool. one of the girl's that i work with and Great Cuddler had a little stint, but they both agreed that it wasn't going to work and he apologized for dating someone after promising me that he wasn't going to date anyone because of the aforementioned missionary. a few weeks later, i get another cowboy to cuddle with. let's call him Cuddle Slut. he admits to it, so i don't feel bad about calling him one. Cuddle Slut is fantastic at the cuddle game. so good that i fell asleep in his arms for a solid week straight. no judgement needed. it was fantastic and i loved it. but then he stopped and we haven't cuddle since. so, please no judgement.

i got to ride a horse! and best thing about it: i got to do it for free! the resident Buckskin and i went on our day off and it was great. besides the saddle soreness that i had for the next three days. the views were amazing and the horse i had was pretty good. he seemed to really like the vegetation, but what horse doesn't?! let me just say, A-OK Corrals is the place to call up for a horseback-ride in Jackson. #shamelessplug

o yeah, and then this thing called a birthday happened. it's crazy, you wait all summer for one day to come, and then when that day comes, you can hardly believe it. and then the rest of the summer feels like it's running through an hourglass. nineteen was officially the dumbest birthday ever. except for maybe the gifts: birthday breakfast at Bubba's with Great Cuddler's cousin and Track Star {she's pretty much the best runner at ISU and is fantastic}, two new western shirts, a Jackson Hole t-shirt, a random collection of awesomeness from my friends, the most amazing orange Tennessee pants ever!, a "Home" t-shirt that my Momma made me and then a new belt for my new buckle! Momma Heather {the house cook} made me the most delicious Angel Food Cake with a strawberry glaze on it. i literally thought i was going to die of the perfection of it.

this past weekend was the Graves Family Reunion! this year, not at Lake Powell, but at Bear Lake. Grandma and Grandpa are on a mission, so we decided to do the reunion a little closer to them so that they could at least come up for the weekend. originally i was going to ask for the whole reunion off, but i decided to just take friday and saturday. friday i ended up spending as our "teenage outing" and driving around Ogden with Berkeley and Madeline and their EFY friend. it was different, but we had a lot of fun. Olive Garden, crazy selfies as we drove down the highway, and then a little bit of wasting time at Grandma and Grandpa's. i missed the sunny day at the beach, but we had a lot of fun. saturday we went up to Minnetoka Cave and hiked a 888-round trip stair cave route. 40 degrees constantly and up and down through the earth. i was originally nervous about hiking through a cave, but they have rock and metal stairs through the whole thing. we did end up spending a little bit of time on the beach, but unfortunately for me, it was in the evening on an overcast day. we played the cheeto-shaving cream-shower cap game with all the cousins and it ended up in a shaving cream-shoving fight. only a few people ended up with shaving cream in their eyes, but it was worth the little bit of pain. best fun that i have ever started with all the cousins. ;)




  

time.

what a weird four letter word. it holds so much power with it, too. 

it's bizarre to think that two years ago today, i was frantically finishing a presentation for the parents of governor's school participants. a year ago today, i was hanging out around the house, worrying about chores and packing for a road trip two weeks out. today, i'm worrying about getting the smoke out of the blankets i took camping last night and about getting a cowboy to pay enough attention to me to take me out. 

time. what a silly thing. my friends have their mission calls and are preparing for the fateful day when they will enter the MTC. other friends are fretting over the details of another fateful day: their wedding day. and yet others are worrying about getting all their summer vacation tucked into the next few weeks. then there's me, just worrying about my job, my crippled love life, and remembering people's names. 

time. it slips away from you. i can't believe that i haven't seen my sister in six weeks, my family in six months, some of my friends in over a year. it's just wrong. it makes me ache for the "good times" back. those careless summer nights when we played hide-and-go-seek in the backyard of nice neighbors. those crazy fall nights when i spent all night in a ridiculous costume, freezing my butt off, cheering for the football team. those awful spring nights where i was up until midnight or one am writing a paper. i'm gonna say it: i miss high school. don't get me wrong, there are something things i DON'T miss. but the simplicity of life sure was nice. i miss my laurel friends. the semi-adult life stinks, man.

i want the simplicity of life back.