spring break

was interesting. Work was having a HUGE sale, so it was hopeless to even think about asking for it off. So, I took other people's shifts so that they could go and do spring break things.

my roommates ditched me on Sunday. thankfully, Aunt Colee that asked if I would like to come to dinner, so after church I ditched town as fast as possible.

monday: lonely cleaning, some Big Bang Theory, donating plasma (made $35, too!) then work. I had plans to go up to Rigby that night at stay with my aunt and her chillens, but I was late leaving Logan because I locked me keys in my car. First time for everything, right? Thankfully I have some good friends who were able to take me back to my apartment and then back to work to pick up my car, so the whole ordeal only cost me $3 (for the manager to open my apartment) rather than the ticket for a locksmith. With that in mind, I made it to Rigby around 11 pm on Monday... longest drive of my life. Two and half hours by yourself is not fun. Especially when it decides to snow.

tuesday: a lot more fun. i got to hang out with my cousins and help me aunt out a tiny little ounce. i learned that just because your picture is on the fridge, doesn't mean that your youngest cousin will recognize you, or even cuddle with you when he is sick. Urn was nice enough to zone my feet that night while we watched Season 2 of Downtown Abbey and o my gosh! it was wonderful. if you have never had it done, it's like the best worst foot massage ever.

wednesday: i stayed up in Rigby until noon-ish because i had to work (i mentioned that i hate work, right?). that night i came home to the guys who live next door in the apartment across the hall (*disclaimer* one of the boys has a sister that lives in that apartment) even though none of the girls were home. come to find out that they just wanted some putty to fix a whole in the wall. i hung out with them for a few hours, but still ended up going to bed around eleven because we ran out of things to do/talk about.

thursday: i invited some friends over for breakfast and it was a lot of fun. pancakes, fruit, friends. such great things! work wasn't too bad that night because i got off a few minutes early. hallelujah! thursday was also the day that i found out that Mormon boys do sit around in just their underwear when they are alone. just trust me.

friday: no work to pass the time, so i finished a season of Big Bang Theory and then I took my healthy self and went and donated plasma and made FIFTY BUCKS! (go and donate plasma, put my name down as a reference. #shamelessplug) Then I called up Aunt Fluffy and asked if I could come and borrow her laundry equipment for a few hours. She of course had no problem with it, so I went and helped out her and did my five loads of laundry at her house. yeah, Rae and I do five loads of laundry every two weeks. I would have stayed the night with Fluffy, but I had to work Saturday morning, so I decided I should probably get a good night's rest.

saturday: a 10:30 to 7 shift. a heavenly shift as a cashier. call me crazy, but I seriously love that shift! i got to sleep in, go to work, and still had enough of an evening to go and hang out with my single uncle, Juan, and his friends that night without being super exhausted! some of my friends had returned by the time I got done with work, so I hung out for a little while with them and caught up on their adventures of Spring Break.

sunday: ward council at 10:30 was slim, but spiritual as ever. Bambi came home about a half an hour before church started, so I got to have at least one friend at church with me. :) i ended up being the chorister in sacrament meeting because the chorister was still out with her family, and the organist (who was one of my close friends!) let me fall asleep on the stand!!! thankfully, i was pretty well hidden behind the organ, so only one or two people could see me, but I apparently missed a really awesome talk. i was super bummed... after church i had to kind of twiddle my thumbs and find things to do before my roommates started coming home (Bambi left with her family after church, so she wasn't home until later). I did a little happy dance when Rae and Panic finally made it home. Never Nude and Provolone made it home a little bit before they, but they were busy putting together a new bookshelf for Provolone.

nevertheless, it was okay. lonely and long, but okay.

never been kissed.

everyone always asks me how it is that I am in college and never been kissed. it's a rather simple answer, really. the opportunity never presented itself. I was one of those girls who never really had a serious relationship in high school and the guys here at college have been all talk and no action. 

the next question is always, "do you want to be kissed?" yes, I do. but I was always taught and shown that kisses are something to be treasured, not something that you share with the whole pond of frogs. I am sure the time will come when I do have my first kiss, but for now, I will be contempt with my unkissed lips and realize that it won't be magical. 

this has been another rant, and probably overpersonal blog post. 

shooting guns

i shot a gun. fun story actually.

so we met these guys two weeks ago tomorrow. sometime between then and sunday, it got brought up that rae and i had never been shooting. so these two boys invited us to go shooting with them on Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. so we dressed up in our cowboy boots and warm sweatshirts and drove over to a spot right outside Smithfield.

we got to the final hill (the shooting range was in the mountain), we noticed that it was super icy. tanner (one of the guys) went up first in his ford focus and tried to make it. we got about a quarter mile up the road before tanner's car decided it didn't like the ice. we got out and messed around for a little bit in the ice, before we pushed his car around and rode back down to the road. the four of us then piled into zach's jeep (one of the other four people that went with us) and got a better "running" start up the mountain. there was a boy scout troop at the range, so we improvised and just shot over the fence into another part of the range. tanner, zach, and josh all had brought their shot guns, so we messed around with some clay pigeons for a few hours. casey had brought his 9mm handguns, so he and rae played with those and some of our not-too-badly-destroyed clays.  i tried so hard to be a good shot, but that really didn't work out. i was apparently just below the disc every time, so i guess i just have to aim a little bit higher, or wait a little bit longer to shoot.

the last half hour or so, we decided to have a competition. tanner and i went first. i shot at three clays, while he shot "back-up"{meaning he shot at the clay when i missed them} and he hit two of his own clays. so, we scored a 3.5. {each shot you got was one point, a half point if the back-up got it.}

rae and casey scored a 4.0; zach and his date tied with his brother, josh, and ashley with a 4.5.

so naturally we had to have a tie breaker. they tried the double disc throw, but that didn't break the tie either, so we just called it a day after that.

we piled all the stuff back up and drove back to Logan. all over, a great morning. fun, but not really something that would hit very high on the list of things to do on a day off.

rae and i

tanner, casey, josh and ashley

zach and his date

tanner and casey

a semester update

aslkj;alksdj;flkasdj;lfkja;sdkljf;laskjdf;lkajsd;lfkja;slkfj;aksdjf;lkasj;lfkjas;ldkjf;alksdjf;lkasjd;flkjasdl;kfja;skldj

my mind at the moment.

i am supposed to be doing homework, but you see how well that is working out...

so far the semester is going well. i have three classes in the business building (which is all the way on the other side of campus for me... :S), one in the huge concert hall on campus, and my favorite class of all is my Western Swing class. i got into the advanced class, and i couldn't be more excited. the one problem about that class is that he is in that class. i try and be his friend, but it really is proving to be hard. he will ask me to dance every once in a while, and he will talk with me, but he really doesn't try too hard to seek me out. he probably figures that i will seek him out and it's honestly the truth, but i'm still sad.

the mission thoughts aren't helping confuse matters much either. i'm NOT going to declare dating abstinence before i go on a mission, but seriously. the fish ain't biting.

we met some new guys two weeks ago and one of them is now rae's boyfriend (although they haven't called it that yet, they have spent time with each other EVERY day since they have met) and the other one is super into one of my new roommates, Bambi. Bambi is super cute and has captured  every guy's heart within a mile radius. she's a return missionary, three months off the boat from Lima, Peru. she's so adorable and i love her enthusiasm for the gospel and her easy love for others. {Never Nude is our other new roommate and she is super hilarious. she's really outgoing and is always ready to party. lol, seriously.}

work is going well. i haven't worked too many hours the last few weeks, but i'm hoping as we get closer to one of our HUGE case lot sales, that i will get more hours. i am still doing a lot of bagging, but i help quite frequently with cashiering. i get paid the same rate, regardless of what kind of shift i am working. lovely minimum wage.... :S

so a future missionary, lots of reading, awesome new roommates, no interested boys. pretty much sums it up.

great news!

i have decided to serve a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. i will work hard through this semester, the summer and just work next semester, in preparation to leave around Christmas of 2014. i will not be able to serve until the latter part of July, so i could but my papers in around the end of March, but i need to work through another semester in order to afford the opportunity to go on a mission.

just thought i should let you know. :)

Life to Her Years

So a friend posted this link on Facebook, and I am missing my Daddy today, so I looked at it.

My Daddy did a pretty good job doing them all. Some of them he didn't do, but that's okay. I know he loves me.

So then I just went and checked out Michael Mitchell's wonderful blog/tumblr thing. And this one really made me miss my Daddy.

"A little girl and her father were crossing a bridge. The father was kind of scared so he asked his little daughter: “Sweetheart, please hold my hand so that you don’t fall into the river.” 

The little girl said: “No, Dad. You hold my hand.”

“What’s the difference?” Asked the puzzled father.

“There’s a big difference,” replied the little girl.

“If I hold your hand and something happens to me, chances are that I may let your hand go. But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens, you will never let my hand go."

from Thoughtful Mind via J.T. Scully

Isn't it beautiful?! I can't wait to see my Daddy tomorrow and to hold his hand and to have him hold my hand. I love that man and even though we often butted heads while I was in high school, all the pieces of advice that I stubbornly ignored in high school have come biting me in the butt in college. I love my daddy and he definitely knew what he was talking about when he gave me advice. 

I love you, Daddy. 

See you tomorrow. :)

a love-ly update

my love life is seriously in the tanks.

the guy that i did like is practically in love with another girl who is just waiting through the days before she goes on her mission. i have done pretty much everything to try and be cool and be his friend, but that just wasn't working for me. i was letting him string me out and i finally had enough of it last wednesday at swing dancing. he spent the entire evening attached to her like she was his girlfriend and if i am honest with myself, i was so jealous. i wanted him to be looking at me like that, like i was the girl that he wanted to spend time with, not the clingy girl that needs affirmation from him. so after i dropped off my passengers off at the apartment, i went and spent some time in the car, writing down my last good-bye down on a napkin. yea, a napkin.

i wrote down all the feelings that i had and told him everything that i had ever wanted to say. but i can't tell bring myself to tell him about. to go up to him and tell him.

so i really have no idea what to do, except to avoid looking for his truck in the parking lot and try and connect with other people at swing dancing. to not hang around him and try not to get him to ask me for a dance. to finally heed my parents' and ryan's advice and make him do the work. be a girl for once and let him do the work.

and how difficult that is proving.

something hard

The hardest thing of college so far? Missing all of the firsts. (wow, that sounded motherly.) But seriously, I miss seeing my brothers and sister off to their first day at their new schools. I missed the first day of seminary. And the hardest thing? Missing my parents' 19th wedding anniversary.

Nineteen years ago, on Tuesday, September 6, 1994, my parents were sealed for time and all eternity in this beautiful building:

And I couldn't be more glad that they were. I love them so much and I miss them so much. I know that my gift to them this year is miniscule, but I hope that they will like it. 

They say that a girl marries their favorite trait about their father. As I pondered what that actually is in my father, I thought about what I say when people ask me about my father. And I found my answer. He is so amazingly handy. He built my mother her dream kitchen. And he did it all himself. He added onto our house and only hired someone twice to do work, and it was only because he didn't have the time to do it himself: the boy next door to bring the shingles onto the roof, and someone to paint the exterior of the house. He is the resident mechanic. He landscapes and builds a garden each year. Plus, he can cook. 

Then I thought about my mother. My favorite trait about her. She is her own person and she is crafty. She decorates the house each season and has made a lot of the decorations for herself. She can create wonderful things from a little bit of fabric and thread. She is beautiful. She is amazing. She isn't afraid to get a little dirty and she can make the most wonderful food ever. 

And my favorite part of my parents: the fact that they aren't afraid to show me how much they love me. 

You remember this picture:

                                             
And this was my parents sometimes. But not always really. It was more along the lines of hugging her from behind and finding that ticklish spot and tickling her just to see her cringe and laugh. Along the lines of hello and good-bye kisses, no matter how much of a rush he is in to get to work. Along the lines of apologizing after the fight. Along the lines of being excited about sitting next to her at meals after almost fifteen years of sitting at opposite ends of the table because she can't stand hitting his outstretched feet under the table. It's really in all the little things.

And most of all, thank you Daddy for loving my mother like Sis. Dalton taught in this talk:

I love you guys and thank you for setting the perfect example of what an eternal couple should be like. I am so sorry that I can't be there this year, but I know that it's only the first of many anniversaries that I will miss. good luck Daddy with your new job. Good luck Mommy with all your crafts and work and every other thing you juggle. Happy anniversary.

a reading goal

my reading goal for August 2013 to July 2014: read the 34 books on The Big Read list by NEA. advantageous, but I really love reading. plus, I've already read some of them. so I'm kind of cheating. maybe... I haven't decided about that part yet. finding all of these books could be interesting because I don't know how many of them I will be able to find at the libraries here. and I only have access to the electronic library of books back home. wish me luck!

for those wondering which books are included in The Big Read:

In the Time of the Butterflies Julia Alvarez

Bless Me, Ultima Rudolfo Anaya

Fahrenheit 451 Ray Bradbury

My Antonia Willa Cather

The Poetry of Emily Dickinson

Love Medicine Louise Erdrich

The Great Gatsby F. Scott Fitzgerald

A Lesson Before Dying Ernest J. Gaines

The Maltese Falcon Dashiell Hammett

A Farewell to Arms Ernest Hemingway

Sun, Stone, and Shadows (edited by) Jorge F. Hernandez

Their Eyes Were Watching God Zora Neale Hurston

Washington Square Henry James

The Poetry of Robinson Jeffers

The Namesake Jhumpa Lahiri

A Wizard of Earthsea Ursula K. Le Guin

To Kill a Mockingbird Harper Lee

The Call of the Wild Jack London

The Poetry of Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

The Thief and the Dogs Naguib Mahfouz

The Heart Is a Lonely Hunter Carson McCullers

The Things They Carried Tim O’Brien

The Shawl Cynthia Ozick

Great Tales and Poems of Edgar Allan Poe

True Grit Charles Portis

Housekeeping Marilynne Robinson

The Grapes of Wrath John Steinbeck

The Joy Luck Club Amy Tan

The Death of Ivan Ilyich Leo Tolstoy

The Adventures of Tom Sawyer Mark Twain

Into the Beautiful North Luis Alberto Urrea

The Age of Innocence Edith Wharton

The Bridge of San Luis Rey and Our Town Thornton Wilder

Old School Tobias Wolff

Happy Reading!

moved out

so school starts in a month. crazy life. this summer has been almost been separated into two parts: Tennessee and Utah. it's been all sorts of crazy too. before i moved to Utah, it was all about catching up with people, making last minute plans, packing up my life, and patching up and saying good-bye to people I will probably never see again. [scary thoughts, no?] now that I have moved to Utah, my life has been all about finding a job, keeping up with the family plans and having some fun. don't get me wrong, Utah is amazing and I love being able to draw a circle two hours wide, and being able to hit five uncles and four aunts, two sets of grandparents, and countless other extended family members. it's great... but I miss home. I miss the baby and toddler sounds in church. YSA branches are quiet enough that even if you snicker, the guy across the chapel can hear you. i miss my family, and all of the crazy times that we had just sitting around the house. i miss being able to pick a movie from the DVD's or Blu-ray's and watch it a couple of times without the Internet being a problem, or it costing me a buck twenty to rent it. i miss all of my friends! i miss being able to go out and hang out with them. it would be amazing to have plans during the week besides "what does great grandma have for me to do today!?" (although that will change just a little bit due to my job!) i miss home. i miss all of my adult leaders/friends. I miss the missionaries, for crying out loud.

but life will get better once I get my feet on the ground. I found a job, at a local grocery store. I am currently a bagger, but will hopefully being learning the ropes of cashier here soon. I love it so far. It kind of stinks when your feet and knees and hips go numb from standing in pretty much the same position for eight hours, but I am hoping that a trip to the local Wal-Mart and a Dr. Scholl's will help that out.

church is interesting, because i am fresh meat in town and all of the men are off their missions, dating a girl, and/or are too old for me to fathom right now. I know that it won't be better once school starts, but hopefully there will be some more girls closer to my age when that happens. i want to get settled here, but right now the whole stake is combined into one meeting right now, so it's kind of hard to find new people. a lot of the people are just waiting for their housing contract to be up so that they can move into a new ward... rough life. it's kind of hard because I want to find people my age, but I know that's close to impossible because they are all serving the Lord. I hope that I don't go two years without going on a date. Ugh, that would be awful on all sorts of levels.

let me just say this. living with your great grandmother sounds like a great idea and a great opportunity to get to know her a little bit better. and let me tell you, it has been really cool to spend some time with her and talk to her about her earlier life. but sometimes it's just plain rough. at about nine o'clock every night, I am in my room watching a movie on Netflix or watching one I rented from Redbox. She doesn't have more than some granola, toast with peanut butter and honey, or a smoothie for breakfast and doesn't have the fixings for much else. She eats things WAAAYY past expired out of her food storage and eats vegetables like they are going out of style. Don't get me wrong, it's been interesting to see all of the different ways you can make a green salad, but the otherwise light main courses are a little rough to eat sometimes. I mean, she doesn't eat meat. Canned chicken, a little bacon, and some tuna is all I have seen her make/eat in the three weeks I have been here. Where's the BEEF!?

I love her, but seriously, the generation gap may be a little much on this one.