...and to all a good night

christmas time is never really an easy time now.

normally it would be filled with joy, peace, and laughter,

but there is always a little piece that misses what could have been.

this christmas marks sam's second birthday and grandpa's second christmas in heaven.

as i was listening to my christmas playlist, the song "christmas in heaven"

by scotty mccreery and tears started to fall.

the questions that are asked during the chorus

are always the hardest to make through:

And I wonder

Are you kneeling with shepherds before him now?

Can you reach out and touch his face?

Are you part of that glorious Holy night?

I wonder: what Christmas in Heaven is like?

Is the snow falling down on the streets of gold?

Are the mansions all covered in white?

Are you singing with angels "Silent Night"?

I wonder: what Christmas in Heaven is like?

that first christmas i bawled every time i heard this song.

it's getting better, but the wound is still fresh.

there are so many first, and seconds, and thirds,

that i don't often want to think about it.

but i will teach my children that grandpa

was an amazing man, who loved christ and his family

more than anything else in the world. 

that he worked hard days and nights to provide a life

worth living for his family.

and that he is waiting in, and watching from, heaven

for the rest of us to join him one day.

the christmas season is about celebrating the birth of our savior.

yesterday, we had the opportunity to bless and give a name to a newborn nephew.

and it just brings to mind some of the thoughts that 

mary would have been experiencing as she bore the christchild.

how much do you think she understood of the father's plan for her newborn?

do you think she understood she was carrying the savior of the world?

this christmas season, let us focus on the lord of lords,

and king of kings. the one who's birth the angels sing.

for he truly is the reason for the season.

he suffered so that the sting of death cannot last.

he died so that we might live again with our families.

is that not enough to celebrate?

the way i talk

the way i talk

it's become a quick favorite for me.

makes it a little bit better

that morgan is from knoxville, tennessee

just like yours truly.

but a lot has changed in the last little while

with the way i talk.

today marks two years since i entered the mtc

and started one of life's big journeys:

a full-time service mission for

the church of jesus christ of latter-day saints.

i now speak with a little utah vocab,

heck, fetch and crap.

a little bit of that tennessee drawl,

y'all, darling, sweetheart.

there are a few more spanish pleasantries mixed in,

gracias, por favor, and hola.

and now the vocab of a returned missionary,

college, work, homework.

the way i talk

is now a little bit more grown-up.

i am trying to grow up.

prepare for the inevitable part of life

that requires you to snip the safety net

made by your parents

and create your own life.

and i owe a lot of that growing up

to the experience i had in nicaragua.

two teenagers, with a very rough idea of the real world,

wandering the streets of a foreign land

preaching a message that they firmly believe.

there is very little training considering 

the objective that is given. 

yet, the way we talk

is not with our mouths.

but with our testimonies, the spirit of god

and a lot of faith.

it's a language that you don't learn

from someone else.

rather, it's an individualized experience.

there may be similarities you share with others

but no feeling, notion, prompting

is the same person to person.

and that's an incredible language to master.

a good missionary sees it occasionally.

a great missionary sees it frequently.

but an extraordinary missionary sees it always.

i am no judge of character for myself,

but i do know that there are many moments

that i can remember that i spoke the words

that the hearer needed.

they were not my words,

but the way i talked

was enough to let me know

that they were the right words

that the man upstairs understood

and knew that person needed

at that precise moment.

it sounds a little bit like my daddy

it don't cuss around my momma

some words you've never heard

'less you come from down yonder

the man upstairs gets it

so i ain't tryna fix it

no i can't hide it

i don't fight, i just roll with it

oh, kinda slow like the Mississippi rolls

it's the only way i know

man it ain't my fault

i just live the way i talk.