#lifeunfiltered

after a church meeting today,

one of my leaders handed me an article.

he simply said that he had shared it

with some other members of the congregation

in an previous meeting

and would like me to read it as well.

the story is about a girl who hides her life through filters.

and unfortunately hides her despair so well

her parents are blindsided by her suicide.

now, i don't know why this leader decided to share this with me.

because i assure you, i would never think of ending my life that way.

but maybe it wasn't for me.

maybe, i was just supposed to read it

and share my thoughts.

the article talks about how part of Madison, said girl,

must have struggled internally with the difference

between the life we are living on the inside

and the filtered life we are letting the outside world see us live.

"Even people you think are perfect are going through something difficult."
a taken from a post on Madison's Instagram account.

and it's so true.

today we talked about charity in our women's meeting.

and what it really means to be charitable.

sure it means to be "willing to bear one another's burdens ... 

to mourn with those that mourn, 

yea and comfort those that stand in need of comfort..." 

and i think it goes so much further than that too.

"a compliment should be voiced

and a criticism should be hushed,

not the other way around."

--wise words of an institute teacher

we need to be more willing to truly listen to other people.

and let them understand our sorrows.

but we also need to see into the inside world they are living in.

truly try to understand their hurt.

so they can feel like someone is truly there that understands.

not just a friend with words.

i am not the best friend you could ever have.

but i find joy in lifting the fallen.

trying to emulate the savior.

and i am not trying to say any of this to get attention.

but maybe what we all need to do

is to look around us

and try to have a little love and understanding

for those around us.

strangers, friends, or family.

because you never know what another might be going through.

your words could be their saving grace.

literally.

my number is twenty-three

a couple of years ago,

i fell for a friend's post online

and had to write 23 things about myself.

some things haven't changed, yet other's have.

1. i still love country music. the only reason i ever listen to pop radio

is because the country stations are playing commercials.

2. i still love western swing dancing.

it's been a little rough getting back into the saddle post mission, but it's still a thing.

3. i have been to a concert. i saw scotty mccreery live for $5 as part of his "see you tonight" tour.

waiting outside the doors wasn't too bad when you have good company.
rhett, me, andrew

third row my friends. for $5.
thank you utah state.

4. i have shot a gun. lots of times. and most times i have a pretty good shot too,

wyoming mountains make the best backdrop for pictures

5. i am still better at fixing other people's problems.

my dad calls it perspective; i call it free therapy.

6. i must have skipped this one.

so, i'll make one up.

i know spanish.

y si, puedo entenderte cuando hablas de mi.

7. i work at a grocery store again. 

and some days are better than others.

like wednesdays. i like wednesdays.

fridays and mondays not so much.

8. i still automatically respond to people's comments.

thank you customer service jobs.

9. the number is a lot bigger than three now.

10. i am getting better at recognizing faces.

it's still hard, but i can thank the mission for that.

if you can remember a unique quality about them,

it helps a lot.

11. to  16. 

nothing has changed.

but allow me to digest something:

i am an accounting major.

and yes, i like it.

there are a lot of numbers,

but even more principles and concepts to remember.

#appreciate_your_accountant

17. i found out that i won't have to take a calculus class

or any more math-intensive classes to graduate

and i cried a little tear of gratitude.

18. i now live with only three other girls.

and we are each other's sounding boards.

no hard feelings here!

19. my love life is still interesting like string theory,

but at least it's engaging now.

(no, that was not an announcement)

20. more than words can recount.

21. i have fixed myself of this habit.

(thank you mission)

but sometimes, it would be nice

to knock some sense into people.

22. that one has changed.

to quote keith urban,

"to, to kiss and tell, it's just not my style."

23. beards are still one of the most attractive things ever.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

these kinds of posts are kind of fun to write,

because i get to see my personal growth.

somethings haven't changed,

and i guess that just makes me, me.

progress is made

and i am thankful for the memories

that mark those changes.

thank you.