forty-seven days and counting

as peach, from finding nemo, would say,

“today’s the day, the sun is shining, the tank is clean!”

today was the fateful day, when it all changed!

i woke up expecting a normal day with mom before having to go to work this evening. i was folding laundry when one of us said that we need to talk with all my aunts and uncles to see what the best way was to include everyone in the “big reveal,” when i got my mission call.

little did i know that that plan was pointless.

i was out running some errands when i got a phone call from my mother. nothing out of the ordinary, just thought that she needed me to pick something up from kroger. she said two words before i started to scream: “it’s here.”

i was so excited, and bug was just sitting there looking at me like i had a third eye and telling me that people in the surrounding cars where giving me weird looks. i didn't even care at that point. all i wanted was to get everyone home from school, daddy home from work, rae on the phone, and to rip open the packet and see where i was going. i knew that i had to wait at least until at least three to open the packet because the three youngest siblings were all on the bus. and it was KILLING me.

according to the text messages, and the voicemails i had left that morning, if i got it this weekend, i would be opening it on sunday evening. we would broadcast it to the two grandparents’ houses, and then try and be on at least speakerphone with the rest of the aunts and uncles.

thirty minutes later, we had called both sets of grandparents, rae was on skype with us, and i was opening the most amazing white envelope ever.

(my hands are shaking just thinking about it now.)

i carefully ripped open the envelope and almost collapsed when i skipped to the good part and saw where i was going.

the video that bug put on instagram makes me sound like i am three years old, but i don’t care. i was just so excited and i just couldn't wait to read the rest of it, but my family was DYING of anticipation.

so I carefully read the words:

“dear sister janelle sara graves, you are hereby called to serve as a missionary for
the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. you are assigned to labor in the nicaragua managua south mission. it is anticipated that you will serve for a period of eighteen months.

you should report to the provo missionary training center on wednesday, january 7th, 2015. you will prepare to preach the gospel in the spanish language. your assignment may be modified according to the needs of the mission president.”

i was so excited, i was crying

{i’m not a huge crier, so this was big.}

my siblings by this point had been reduced to tears, hugs, and cries of “yeah!!”

my parents were a mess, and my grandparents were just plain excited for me.

rae did okay with the news, but it hit her really hard that she was eighteen hundred miles away and unable to be there, so we resorted to hugging our respective electronic devices. it was comforting, but i wish she could have been there.

the scary part of it all:

i have to be ready to report in forty-seven days.

and i still have to make it through holiday with my two jobs.

 i can do this. luckily, one of my bosses is also a member of the Church, 

and so when i gave him a call today, 

he was totally understanding and willing to work with me about 

when my last day was going to be with them. 

now, just to figure out how to break it to my retail job…

forty-seven days.

it just hit me.

i’m going on a mission.

this is for-realz happening.

i am going to serve the people of NICARAGUA.

breathe.

no shave november

it's pretty much the most fun month ever.

let me explain:

I LOVE BEARDS.

spending the next eighteen months 

around beardless men

may be a little interesting for me. 

mostly because,

beards are the best thing ever.

i mean, this guy rocked a beard:

so anyone can rock a beard.

well, except for maybe this guy/woman/it:

no michael jackson, 

just no. 

you don't deserve a beard.

this is a very accurate description of it all.

my three rules about beards:

-1- keep it trimmed, even if you are growing it out.

i shave my legs for you, you can keep your beard trimmed.

-2- i understand that your beard doesn't grow all the way in,

it takes a special man to have a full and non-patchy beard.

i will take it as it is, but don't complain about it.

-3- do not look like the bush man. keep it shaped.

but i'll just leave you with this:

it's in...

as of yesterday at 4:20 pm. 

my mission papers have been submitted to salt lake city.

REPEAT:

my mission papers have been submitted.

you really can't tell how excited i am through this post.

i was doing a little happy dance when i got the stake president's voicemail.

no lies.

the reason that they weren't submitted on monday night:

-the doctor didn't write down my pulse

-i didn't have a recent dental x-ray

-we didn't have what my vision was with my glasses (20/20 of course!)

-they were worried about only having half of my hep a vaccination complete,

but my bishop reassured the man submitting the paperwork that i could

get the second dose in the MTC if necessary.

-the doctor didn't write down the results of my blood work

but, we got it all squared away, and now i play the waiting game!

MY PAPERS ARE IN!

i was doing dancing around the island listening to the voicemail.

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1. i started bringing my preach my gospel book to work

and reading while we have a few minutes lull, and it's been great!

2. CHECK MARK! 

i mean, that is why i am writing this post after all...

3. we decided that we are going to do it ourselves!

stitching in the ditch and sewing the longest diagonal ever,

we figured it would just be easier than sewing a four inch border

all the way around a king-sized quilt.

so CHECK MARK!

4. i look forward to having my schedules here in the next day or two,

and then i can plan with them!

5. i love the relief that i find while playing the piano,

and i have been able to pick through and

semi-confidently play through a lot of the hymns.

6. have been doing great. being home yesterday kind of helped that a lot too.

i used my once-a-week-eat-out card yesterday when we 

ordered in hibachi. yumm...

it's going to be a little easier this week to eat healthier because

i get off a a little bit more of a normal "lunch" time.

momma mia

this week.

for realz. 

it's been so long. 

i literally feel as if it's been monday all week long. 

let me explain: 

between my two jobs this week, i worked an excess of 60 hours. 

that's right. SIXTY! 

and gurl, you better believed i worked for it.

i worked two-fourteen hour work days.

#showmethemula

but that wasn't even the longest day this week. 

wednesday i was at one job from 5am-2pm 

and then had to be at my other job at 3:30pm to 9:30pm.

needless to say, i'm exhausted and was in desperate need of a sunday.

during the forty-five minute break i got in between my two jobs on thursday,

i stumbled across this article on facebook and had to share.

because this really was me at one point.

i took the "be prepared" motto for the boy scouts to heart during high school.

plus, i just love the bridesmaids reference.

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1. baby steps. and i am getting better.

this week was rough for me physically though.

2. getting a dental x-ray to "dot an i" tomorrow to be safe,

but they should be submitted tomorrow night!

3. it will be completed this week.

my mom is holding me accountable.

4. check for today! went and got to see some of the people

that they are investigating and it's really exciting to see the

countenance change when they open up to the idea of being comforted by the gospel.

add to goals: pray that sabrina may be able to find a job and be able to better her life

for her kids.

sabrina is an investigators that the sisters are working with right now.

we challenged her tonight to join us at church on sunday, and the sisters

have another meeting with her on tuesday. she is trying to figure out her life

and is trying to get a stable job so that she can move on to better things. she is a 

single mother and wants her kids to have a better life than what she is currently living.

she is trying to go to school and get a nursing degree so that she can provide for her kids.

the epitome of a strong woman, trying to do better, all for the sake of her children.

5. funny story: actually got asked today *twice i might add* at church to play.

i was able to play prelude music to sacrament meeting (the semi-equivalent to mass

at a catholic church) and then was asked again to play in relief society, but was not

comfortable playing the songs that had been picked to go along with the lesson.

mommy to the rescue!

i have some spare time this week (actually a lot of spare time, compared to last week)

and will be working a lot of my goals.

NEW!

6. exercise more frequently and eat better.

take something substantial to eat at work while on break,

and don't eat snack foods as a meal.

spend part of my "break" walking on the treadmill for a little bit.

great hugs

the beginning of november is always a time for reflection for me. 

the year is almost over and i seriously sit and reflect at all of the annual goals i didn't ever get to.

i also try and make a mental note of my "grateful fors" and make a list. 

sunday in relief society, the teacher handed around ten slips of paper. 

each had a question on it asking us something we were grateful for in different situations. 

i got the question: what experience are you thankful for this week and why? 

saturday i worked my first birthday party at the trampoline park 

{one of my two brand new jobs} 

and i had no idea what i was doing even though it had been explained to me a couple of times.

i didn't let it on that i was new and had never done this before 

until the birthday party was almost over. 

the party mom looked at me and said, "you're doing great. I had no idea." 

my coworkers had been assuring me all day that i was doing great,

but to hear it from a perfect stranger was the comfort i needed. 

with all this new stuff, i am really missing the old stuff. 

i'm really, really missing my bar t-5 friends 

and the people that i interacted with while in jackson.

 the job was comfortable and the people are and were amazing. 

i see all of my friends going about school and work, 

and i wish i was there to see them in person more often.

on halloween, we all went back to the summer and went cowboy.

i feel like almost all of us posted a picture of ourselves,

dressed up in perfect cowboy outfits. 

i miss it so much, but i know that with all good things, 

they come to an end. 

i miss the stable hours and the fact that i knew 

how much was going to be on the next paycheck.

{salary has its perks and downsides}

 i could hang out with people my age 

simply by walking out of the bedroom door

 and it was always an environment i felt safe interacting in. 

never any raunchy situations. 

i miss cuddling on the couch watching a movie and
just sitting next to a great friend with his arm around me.
i also miss seth's hugs.
he always knew exactly when you needed a great hug.

but then again, i know that jackson is now a part of me 

and i will be back again. soon.

the friends i made this summer are forever. 

even if some of us are thousands of miles apart from each other. 

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goal update:

1. focusing on setting aside time to do it, 

in the evenings before i sit down to watch tv. 

2. one more interview tomorrow and then my papers will be submitted!

3. tomorrow i don't work in the afternoon, so i can get the help i need 

from mom to get the back pieced together. 

and then off to the quilter it can go!

4. i will have my shifts for next week by wednesday for my retail job 

and then i can set a time for next week! 

5. i am going through the hymns and playing the ones i have heard before 

to try and get a feel for how they are played. 

i have an easier time playing something i have heard before,

 so i am going through and playing the right hand 

and then adding the left hand in. i'm getting better! 

home!

i have finally reached it:

HOME!

nothing describes the relief that was felt 

when i saw the familiar interstate exits after ten months.

i almost cried.

but after over 29 hours in the car, i was ready for my own bed.

my grandparents were saints, and helped drive me the 29 hours to k-town.

my grandfather is a history nut, so one of the stipulations of the cross country drive,

was that we had to stop at a couple of historical sites on our way. 

stopping at winter quarters, missouri and nauvoo, illinois only added two hours to the drive.

they have some great visitors centers at both places, 

and we were able to learn and see a lot of neat things.

and of course, my grandfather got to show his extensive knowledge of Church History.

the poor ladies at both visitors centers didn't hold a candlestick to his vast knowledge.

it was really cool though to learn more about church history at those two places.

the gorgeous nauvoo temple.
rebuilt in all its pre-fire glory.

since i have been home, i have been busy!

got two jobs.

have been to multiple doctors' offices.

been used as a pin cushion to get vaccines.

filled out paperwork for my mission for 

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

and have gotten my t-shirt quilt almost ready for the quilters.

i am one doctors appointment and two interviews away from submitting my mission papers

and i am ecstatic!

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goals:

1. read and study the scriptures and Preach My Gospel daily.

2. finish my mission papers and get them submitted.

3. get my t-shirt quilt into the quilt shop.

4. go out with the sister missionaries at least one every two weeks.

5. practice the hymns so i can play more than two sufficiently.

one of the saddest weekends.

goal update:

1. i'm using an excuse that it got busy at work with the take down of everything, 

but i truly had the time. i just didn't make the time. 

and i've kind of missed the boat on the having it read by the time i get home. 

that day comes in four days!!

almost home bound. almost.

2.  the ball is currently in his court. i'm pretty sure of his answer,

but it's in his court.

3. i saw them on saturday at lagoon, 

and i was able to genuinely say "congratulations" to both their faces.

yea for small victories.

4. i have to compile a new list of addresses, 

because my list is very outdated at this point.

so many new missionaries, so many calls.

and no time to write them all.

5. progress is being made.

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i really hate goodbyes. and saying goodbye at lagoon was one of the hardest things ever.

living with a group of 30+ people every day, all day for five months,
really makes you a tight-knit group.

like seriously.

i had to say good-bye to one of my best guy friends
friday night after one of the most perfect dates ever.
he has helped me through a lot of relationship stuff, and is almost the perfect guy for me.
but it didn't fit right.

saturday morning came, and rae was going to come with me to lagoon,
but because of some homework and church things, she had to back out.
this was the start of one of the longest days ever. and one of the best.

one thing you should understand about me, i'm not a huge adrenaline junkie.
i do not enjoy rollercoasters; i like it when my stomach does not sit in my throat.
i found all my friends, and was able to hang out with everyone for a little bit.
thankfully, hilary was on the same page as me, and we hung out together.

there was a LOT of reminiscing and a lot of laughs.
the first time in almost two months that most of us were all together.
two of our bosses spent a lot of hours putting together a slideshow
of pictures of this summer and i almost cried on several occasions.

we got all of our bosses into the bumper cars and had a blast.
even watched two of the guys slingshot themselves into oblivion...
scary stuff.

i really don't love saying goodbye, and it was hard.
but it had to happen.

i will return.

the square dancer.

an update on my goal keeping.

1. not doing so hot. 

i went to utah to visit some family last weekend and it totally got me off. 

i spent sunday and monday in utah and i didn't read. 

terrible excuse, but i got off and i haven't gotten back on, yet. 

that's on the to-do list for today.

2. i really need to talk with him and 

i found my opportunity: this weekend we are going camping as a crew, 

and i think i can get a captive audience on the ride up to the campsite.

3. i have accepted it. he is getting married. 

in other news: BAMBI is engaged! Team Danny has won! 

4. i need to write one of my missionaries back 

because she was nice enough to write me!

 i missed the boat on my guam missionary (literally and figuratively), 

but i can message him now, so no need to waste a stamp.

5. getting better... but i could still use some improvement. and some = a lot still.

i took one of those online surveys yesterday because i was killing time before work 

(admittedly, i should have been packing or reading my scriptures or Preach My Gospel).

this one was titled "what type of dancer are you?" and

apparently i fit the profile of a square dancer.

i thought it rather fitting.

i love country music

i spent about five hours each week for two semesters dancing to country music.

these are the reasons they thought i fit the profile:
You are old-fashioned and you plan to stay that way.
Your values are old school and you make no apologies for it.
The music of today makes you shake your head
and wonder what the world has come to.

yeah, that pretty much sums it up.

this week.

is off to a rough start. like seriously.

monday was a long day. we didn't have a show that day, so the boss-men took the majority of the crew and went and played lumberjack on the mountain. 100 trees, cut for posts and rails, and 12 soaked and sore crew members later, they were really ready to come home. celeste, baby tiff, pat, and i were asked to stay down here and cover the office and prepare for the week. i helped pat in the office until lunch, and then celeste and baby tiff gave me a baptism by fire into the life of a cook. i helped make ranch, bagged brownies, sorted raw chicken, and pretty much just tried to keep up with these lovely ladies. we stopped a little early and had dinner ready for the crew when they got back. and we cleaned the house. but guess how long a clean house lasted. if you guessed less than 12 hours, you were right.

tuesday. can we just take a moment of silence that this day is over? like really. let me preface: two weeks ago, we got a phone call asking if a group of 200 people could come to the show. we can only take 170 people on ten wagons. 200 people would require bringing over two wagons that are used on the mountain and praying that they didn't bring any more people. we let the lady know we could work it out and the stressing began. the coordinator for the group decided that it would be too much of a distraction to have alcohol at the event (which is usually not allowed, but with private events, we give them the option, but they have to work it out and we just lay it out.) she sent us payment for the tickets, as well as the gratuity for the evening, a couple of days in advance, but then we got an email a couple of days ago, asking how many ABOVE 200 people they could go. we cried a little inside and said, we could do about 205 before we had to started strapping people to the top of the wagons. (sarcasm, of course.) we had a lot of people booked on the other show, so we had a double last night. which is UNHEARD of this late in the season [our last day is friday]. david, our foreman, pulled all sorts of strings and brought oodles of help in to drive teams and help the cooks feed 200 people before midnight. i don't know if i should be grateful or cry because i missed the opportunity to see a 12-wagon show, but the group didn't bring 30 people (something they can't even explain), but it relieved a huge burden for the cooks. feeding 200 people is a lot of chicken, beef, beans, corn, the works. and we don't have hours to get them from the chow-line. plus, it's a tad bit stressful to keep 200 people warm while it's 40 degrees outside and you only have enough lap blankets for about 170 of them. needless to say, david and chris were stressed. which in turn had pat stressed. who in turn had me stressed. it was a relief to have that crazy day OVER with.

and the week is about to get crazier. we will have 11 wagons on our last night and the next couple of nights are over 100 people. those are good sized shows for the end of the season. i'm excited for the next couple of days because anything will be easier than the last couple of days. let's just pray that no one else calls and asks to bring 200 people tomorrow.

trying to get better.

i need to get better at this goal keeping thing.

and i have seen it work to publish your goals and 

report on your progress every once in a while.

so here it goes.

1. read the Book of Mormon and study Preach My Gospel every day.

BONUS: have read all of Preach My Gospel by the time i get home in October.

2. figure out my dating/hanging out/cuddling situation.

{it's complicated...}

3. get over the fact that Great Cuddler is engaged to his missionary.

4. write my missionaries, especially the one that gets home in two weeks from Guam.

5. get better with daily prayers. no more falling asleep during my night prayers.

so people of the internet, until next week when i will 

hopefully have gotten somewhere with my goals.