time to grow up

Is it weird that I miss typing? That I miss my computer classes because I could sit and take notes with the computer. But that will soon become a reality when I can take my laptop anywhere and I can take notes on my laptop anytime I want. SCARY! College seems like such a great thing, but I am kind of scared about it. I mean, the experience sounds amazing, but the fact that it costs all this money…that’s the scary part. Loans, payment plans, interest payments. It’s all way too scary. I want to go back to complaining that $25 was too much to spend on something. Not $2,500 or $25,000. But that’s a fact of life: we grow up. The zeros pile onto our expenses as we try to pile them onto our paychecks. And that’s all we really can do, right? Is do our very best and pray that the Lord sees us through? Yes, that is all we can do. Be obedient, follow all of the commandments that the Lord has laid out for us and pray that your best scan be completed with the Lord’s merciful hand.

I am going to miss Tennessee. All of the friends, all of the family that I have made and have come to love, sentenced to a 1700 mile restraining order. It’s going to kill me. I love Tennessee. I can honestly say that I never thought I would say that. When I moved here in 2002, Tennessee was just going to be place #2 on the Map of My Heart. But now, Tennessee is number one. And it will always be. I’m officially a Tennessee Girl. Born in UT, but raised to love UT. It’s great to be a Tennessee Vol. Yes it is. Tennessee will always be a beautiful place. The rain, the wonderful shrubbery; all of it have no parallel. To be able to look out over one hill and see the next one, it’s all just so amazing. I thought when I was little that it was all one bad roller coaster, but man was I wrong. It’s all one beautiful valley that I get to call “Home” for forever more. “Never Let Go.” how fitting. You have to learn how to hold onto the past and learn from it. Never let go of those things that are important to you. Never let go of the values that you hold to be true. Never let go of your zeal for life. “Never letting go;” so much better than “YOLO” or any other lame catch phrase from this decade.

Live is going to be so different in the next couple of months. You talk about growing up fast. We leave for “life” in 18 days. And I don’t think that I am ready. I want to live in the security of home. I want to be able to see mom and dad every day. I don’t want to have to deal with all of the scary real life things: debt, living on my own. There are a few things that I can’t wait for though: to be a wife, to be called “Mommy,” and to be in charge of my own home. I want it so bad, but for some reason I know that it won’t be happening right away. The Lord has funny ways of revealing things to us, and I just have a feeling from reading my patriarchal blessing, from babysitting smaller children, and from being with my own siblings. I know that my husband and I will have some sort of teary good-bye. I will have some adorable children. I want this future, but at the same time I am so not ready for it. I want to be a child forever but I’m ready to grow up. When did decisions become so life-altering?! Goodness!

it’s been said

It takes a village to raise a child. And I always had an inkling of what that meant, until recently when I saw how true that statement really is. There are so many people who have touched my life and have helped me grow. All of the teachers, all of the coaches, all of the church members, all of the neighbors, all of the friends and all of the family members. It all adds up to a rather impressive village. And I just wanted to thank all of the village people for the wonderful woman that you have helped create.

Thank you to all of the teachers who have helped me learn the importance of an education and for guiding me to what I will be studying in college and will be going to school to become “when I get older".

Thank you to all of the coaches who have helped me to learn the importance of hard work and dedication. Even if I kicked and screamed while I did it.

Thank you to all of the church members who have helped me gain a testimony of the truthfulness of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. For giving me great Sunday School lessons and Young Women lessons that helped me gain such a strong testimony that can be boiled down to FIVE things:

• God lives and loves EACH and EVERYONE of us. Regardless of our misdoings.
• Jesus Christ suffered for us and the Atonement is real. Through Christ and His ultimate Atonement, we can return to live with Heavenly Father and Christ again.
• The Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ is what it says it is: Another Testament of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
• Joseph Smith, Jr. was a divine prophet who truly saw our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and restored the fullness of the Gospel of Jesus Christ unto the Earth that we may all have the Gospel again.
• Thomas S. Monson is the true prophet of God and runs His church on the Earth today. President Monson and his counselors help the people of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and guide us so that we can return to our Heavenly Father.

Thank you to all of the neighbors who really were my village. Thank you for all of your sincere concern and care for me. It truly means the world to have good neighbors.

Thank you to all of the friends who have created a tight bond and have become my surrogate family. Thank you for making me feel loved and making Tennessee a home away from home. (Although, now Tennessee really IS home.)

Thank you to all of the family members who were my closest friends. Thank you for the countless memories and love that you have showered me in. Words can not express my love for you.

 

THANK YOU FOR MAKING A GREAT VILLAGE.

#GRADuation pictures

Okay, a little explanation. The Blue and Yellow cord is for Marketing and Business Academy at school.

The Light Blue and Gold cord is for Mu Alpha Theta, a Math Honors Society at school.

The White Stole is for National Honors Society.

The Blue and White Tassel is for National Honors Society as well.

Yes, I made my dress. It took me about 10 hours to complete and I started the Wednesday before Graduation. 

That picture with your Grandparents. Thank you so much Grandma and Grandpa for making the sacrifice and the flight out here to see us walk across a stage.

This was the best sibling photo. I do believe in the others I was looking at the other cameras. 

I love you Christian!

Dad wanted a photo from the Stage where we walked... so we got one! Everybody...

(Back, Left: Grandpa Graves, Mom, Julie, Rachel, Janelle, Dad, Grandma Graves.

Front, Left: Spencer, Russell, Christian, Hannah)

And then of just the family! I'm gonna miss you guys, but I am so excited at the same time for the new chapter of my life.

Rachel, Adrian, and Me. Adrian will always be a good friend. We meet Freshman year and have carried an super light and friendly relationship through Senior year. Thanks for the laughs Adrian and I wish you luck next year at Texas A&M!

Rachel and I got to walk across the stage at sort of the same time. Rachel's name was read first, and then mine, so we got to smile and wave together. :)

Rachel hugging Rachel... hehehe. Ms. Bast was the greatest guidance counselor a girl/boy could ask for. Seriously, the most fun and completely understanding of EVERYTHING. Mrs. Bolinger was awesome too. Super amazing at helping you find scholarships and always prepared. Mrs. Gray was amazing as well. She was firm handed but knew how to throw a PAR-TAY!

My church leaders decided to throw a dinner for all of the graduating Senior Girls one Wednesday night. While in the midst of dinner, one of the Junior Girls was on her way home from the activity at the church. She saw all of the cars lined up, and noted that she had some window paint in her car. So she drew '13 and "Happy Graduation" on all of our cars! It was so sweet of her and we kept it on for a few days before Dad made Rach and I wash it off. :(

I went to four graduations (one freshman year, one sophomore year, and then two others this year) before it was actually my turn to walk across the stage. This was Graduation #1 of this year for me. I was so jealous that they got to walk into Pomp and Circumstance played by a full orchestra.... beyond jealous actually. It was beautiful though.

This reminded me of a little boy that goes to my church. He has a hard time saying some sounds in front of words, so "exploded" "cleaning" and "smoking" often come out "sploded" "leaning" and "mokin."

Kelsey! She was my hangout buddy at the Band Banquet 2013, but congrats girlie on University of Tennessee-Knoxville. You will do great things!

NANA!!!! 

This is one of the best friends that I could ever have outside the church. I had some much fun with you throughout high school and I hope that life takes you far!

#GRADuated

so yeah. that big thing where you walk across a stage for the first time, collecting an envelope that is blank that you will later fill with a piece of cardstock with a couple of stamped names on it and  a couple of special seals--that happened. and i honestly feel no different. believe you me, i am BEYOND ecstatic to be done with high school, but the feelings of "o my goodness, I am an adult" and "o my gosh, I probably won't see most of these people again" hasn't really set in yet.

i have got to four different graduations before I was finally walking onto the Thompson-Boling Arena floor myself. i was such a relief to be waiting around for ME this time. don't get me wrong, it was fun to see all of my other friends graduate, but it was more of a relief to see my classmates on the jumbotron, rather than Bearden, Hardin Valley, and previous Farragut graduates. i was ready for it to be MY turn.

i am so proud of the "Dream Team" of Farragut. together we graduated 414 people, 90% of those earning a scholarship, 70% earning a 3.0 or higher, and collectively as a class earning a gross of $30 MILLION in scholarship money. CONGRATS! we have done it! i was doing a little bit of calculation in my head before they announced how much we had earned in scholarship money: Bearden earned $24.8 million; Hardin Valley earned just over $17.1 million. so congratulations again Dream Team for racking in the most scholarship money!

i have had so much fun during these last four years. so many memories that i will most likely cherish the rest of my life. heartaches, friendships, and memories that are best locked up: had my fair share of them. thank you to the wonderful teachers who have lead me down this path. thank you for being stern and "teacher-like" when you had to be, but always being able to laugh and care about us. thank you to all the teachers that became my friends, and a huge shout out to those that are reading this. you are my inspirations.

this graduation may be an ending, but it's also a beginning. a beginning of new things, that won't necessarily be better, but will push me to become better. a beginning of a life where i call most of the shots. a beginning where i can start to search for that eternal companion that will call me his queen. a beginning to find my "Happily Ever After" of the fairy tales. a new beginning.

AP Tests

are the worst. So draining.

But I can do this. I have trudged through 18 weeks of AP classes and four years of education to reach this day: one more AP test and one final day before graduation. I can do this. I have taken an English Literature AP test. I did my best I could on an essay portion that was going to kick my butt. I rocked the multiple choice. And I had an awesome teacher to help me through it all. I had a rocking English teacher last year that may or may not hate my guts. And I had some other awesome teachers that could not have been any more influential.

And I can rock that AP Statistics test tomorrow. I can do this because my Stats teacher has taught me everything I need to know. I can do this because I have tried very hard. And after the test tomorrow afternoon, I can check out. Completely. Like out of high school. Out of required education. Please help me get through the next day. Please! I just need a four on the exam. I can do this.

pinterest addictions

my life is a pinterest addiction. I have so many things pinned (over a thousand) and I have only really used it a little for actual real life problems/crafts/ideas.

this summer, I have decided to try and do what my friend has committed herself to do: do everything she has pinned on her boards. now, this is a lofty goal and there are some things that I can rule out (like my wedding and home based idea board) but I really want to actually use it. make some of those cute skirts, bags and such. actually read those books that I have pinned. build those cute outfits. check those items on my “to do list” off. I really need a buddy to do it with… any takers?

a little catch up

'Cuz we all could use one...

School is winding down... we've hit the midterm mark. (Hallelujah!) and now, all I have to worry about is keeping my grades up and rocking the AP Tests in May. O, and NOT freaking out about a HUGE English paper due in a few weeks. After the middle of April, then I can relax.. only a few more weeks. I can do this.

I started teaching piano lessons. This was soo new. I had only ever been on the receiving end of a piano lesson. But, then I got message on Facebook about teaching someone from my church lessons. And it spiraled from there. I now have six students who are the cutest things ever. I have a few kids that are between eight and fifteen, but most of them five to seven. I now make more in an hour than most people make in three hours at a minimum wage job. Mom and Dad had to swallow a pill and now the piano lessons are my job. :D score!

I made guard co-captain this past fall. My friend Angela was the best co-captain ever. I love her! The marching band did Tron for a show and it was so much fun!! We did some rock hard stuff and scored a beautiful 95 out of 100 at our last competition! We got some awesome new instructors who are hard core Guard Participants and it made such a difference. Thank you Joey and Katie for making senior year amazing.

I went to Governor's School this past summer. I am so glad that I went too. I ended up missing my one and only chance at being a YCL at a church camp, but that is okay. I wouldn't trade that experience of Gov School for anything. It was so much fun. 35 new classmates for the most part interested in the same things as you are, 4 great counselors (two of which were hiding a relationship from us the entire time!), 4 girls who got sent home for disobeying curfew. Four weeks of a mini college experience (bad food and all). Tried the last night to pull an all-nighter and reached about 5 am and couldn't do it any more. Woke up at like seven to be out of the dorm and ready for a presentation for our parents, and then a short ride back home (compared to others).  I haven't seen a lot of them in a long time, but I really want to see them all again soon!

Over Fall Break, Rachel and I went to Utah and saw three colleges and a lot of family. Thanksgiving with most of the cousins on one side; many, many late nights with cousins and friends; and of course lots of memories. Rachel and I both have decided to attend Utah State University next fall. I am so excited for this new chapter in my life!

Right before Rachel and I went to Utah over Fall Break, my youngest aunt got engaged so over Christmas Break we all went to Utah (we drove 40+ hours) and saw a bunch more family and saw her get married to my uncle. Adrienne and Dallin are so cute together and I wish them the best of luck in their marriage. 

so close, yet so far

Graduation is slowly creeping ever closer. And at one point I told myself that counting down wasn’t going to help pass the days…and well, that philosophy has taken a severe backseat since I got my VERY large paper turned in for English.

Now, just to make all the other deadlines: final Senior Class activities, Banquets, AP tests, and of course all the lovely things Graduation! I am so ready to graduate, but I wanted to take this time to thank all of the great teachers who have helped me through thirteen great years of education. If I were to count (and I have) I would have over 75 teachers through Elementary, Middle School, and High School. That’s crazy to think about! But every single one has helped me become the person I am today.

As I reflect for a daunting church talk on Mother’s Day titled simply “My Last Talk” I am so very nervous. But I think that I will stand and share my simple testimony that we are all asked to come to the Earth to aid others along the path Home. Each life touches another for good as the hymn goes.

I am so thankful for all those that have aided me along the path.

one day...

one day. i will own a piano like this...



and it will sit in my great room. and i will play it, as often as possible. and i will let it play itself. and fill my home with wonderful music.

but until that one day comes...

i will continue to use the piano my mom and dad have. that has a leg that is broken. and that is terribly out of tune at the moment. and that has a slight "chink" when you play one of the high keys. and that has a soft petal that is broken. until that one day comes, i will have to be okay with an upright that is beautiful. it is specially beautiful.

a forever sister

I am one lucky girl. I have a sister who I can't stay mad at. Like, seriously. I came into the world first, and I always joke that it was the best 35 minutes of my life. But I really don't think that any more. We've always been so close. The perfect epitome of two peas in a pod, perfect opposites, and of course, partners in crime. I love her dearly.

People always ask, who is your best friend? And the answer is her. She listens to me, she teases me, she understands my interesting moods and is always willing to talk. She is one of the few people who I can take an insulting comment from her, and then two seconds later be able to talk to her like it never happened. Love her!

One day, we were on our way home from school. I was angry at her for not answering her phone (not a huge shocker, she NEVER answers...) and within the eight minute car ride home, I had forgiven her and was laughing at something she had said, without any thought to the anger.

Sure, there are some days that I wish to strangle her. But I won't. Because I can't stay mad at her. There are some days that I need a good tease, or don't wish to tell the world something. But, she always seems to know what I am thinking about (none of that twin telepathy stuff, it's just coincidence and some pretty rocking brains at work), even if I haven't laid a single hint about it. I love her.

I can't wait to room together next year at school. People always say they couldn't live with their sister in a dorm room. I have seriously been doing it my entire life. I probably could count the number of months that I have NOT shared a  room/bed/sleeping area with Rachel on two hands. In almost 18 years. I am seriously not worried about it. We are just that awesome with one another. That we don't fight for extended periods of time. That we don't get on each other's nerves about certain habits (although it kind of bugs me when I can't find my clothes because she hasn't put away her laundry.). That we can complete each other's stories and comments.

We are just that awesome. Love you Rach!