the panel

it started as a joke a few years ago, but know that I am preparing for college, I am afraid that “The Panel” is actually becoming a legit thing.

Let me explain.

There have been many surrogate parents and aunts and uncles during my childhood. And a few of them have taken a special place in my heart. As I have become closer to marrying age (yeah, that’s weird!), these surrogate family members have joked around that they must have an opinion and must sit on the “Board of Review” if I am to bring a boy home. IF this boy is to become my spouse, then he must undergo quite an extensive interview process. Currently, “The Panel” has two former seminary teachers, my friend’s father, and my parents. And I am sure that the list will only grow when I finally DO find my eternal companion and when I finally bring him home for the final inspection. ;)

until then, let the panel grow.

time to grow up

Is it weird that I miss typing? That I miss my computer classes because I could sit and take notes with the computer. But that will soon become a reality when I can take my laptop anywhere and I can take notes on my laptop anytime I want. SCARY! College seems like such a great thing, but I am kind of scared about it. I mean, the experience sounds amazing, but the fact that it costs all this money…that’s the scary part. Loans, payment plans, interest payments. It’s all way too scary. I want to go back to complaining that $25 was too much to spend on something. Not $2,500 or $25,000. But that’s a fact of life: we grow up. The zeros pile onto our expenses as we try to pile them onto our paychecks. And that’s all we really can do, right? Is do our very best and pray that the Lord sees us through? Yes, that is all we can do. Be obedient, follow all of the commandments that the Lord has laid out for us and pray that your best scan be completed with the Lord’s merciful hand.

I am going to miss Tennessee. All of the friends, all of the family that I have made and have come to love, sentenced to a 1700 mile restraining order. It’s going to kill me. I love Tennessee. I can honestly say that I never thought I would say that. When I moved here in 2002, Tennessee was just going to be place #2 on the Map of My Heart. But now, Tennessee is number one. And it will always be. I’m officially a Tennessee Girl. Born in UT, but raised to love UT. It’s great to be a Tennessee Vol. Yes it is. Tennessee will always be a beautiful place. The rain, the wonderful shrubbery; all of it have no parallel. To be able to look out over one hill and see the next one, it’s all just so amazing. I thought when I was little that it was all one bad roller coaster, but man was I wrong. It’s all one beautiful valley that I get to call “Home” for forever more. “Never Let Go.” how fitting. You have to learn how to hold onto the past and learn from it. Never let go of those things that are important to you. Never let go of the values that you hold to be true. Never let go of your zeal for life. “Never letting go;” so much better than “YOLO” or any other lame catch phrase from this decade.

Live is going to be so different in the next couple of months. You talk about growing up fast. We leave for “life” in 18 days. And I don’t think that I am ready. I want to live in the security of home. I want to be able to see mom and dad every day. I don’t want to have to deal with all of the scary real life things: debt, living on my own. There are a few things that I can’t wait for though: to be a wife, to be called “Mommy,” and to be in charge of my own home. I want it so bad, but for some reason I know that it won’t be happening right away. The Lord has funny ways of revealing things to us, and I just have a feeling from reading my patriarchal blessing, from babysitting smaller children, and from being with my own siblings. I know that my husband and I will have some sort of teary good-bye. I will have some adorable children. I want this future, but at the same time I am so not ready for it. I want to be a child forever but I’m ready to grow up. When did decisions become so life-altering?! Goodness!

it’s been said

It takes a village to raise a child. And I always had an inkling of what that meant, until recently when I saw how true that statement really is. There are so many people who have touched my life and have helped me grow. All of the teachers, all of the coaches, all of the church members, all of the neighbors, all of the friends and all of the family members. It all adds up to a rather impressive village. And I just wanted to thank all of the village people for the wonderful woman that you have helped create.

Thank you to all of the teachers who have helped me learn the importance of an education and for guiding me to what I will be studying in college and will be going to school to become “when I get older".

Thank you to all of the coaches who have helped me to learn the importance of hard work and dedication. Even if I kicked and screamed while I did it.

Thank you to all of the church members who have helped me gain a testimony of the truthfulness of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. For giving me great Sunday School lessons and Young Women lessons that helped me gain such a strong testimony that can be boiled down to FIVE things:

• God lives and loves EACH and EVERYONE of us. Regardless of our misdoings.
• Jesus Christ suffered for us and the Atonement is real. Through Christ and His ultimate Atonement, we can return to live with Heavenly Father and Christ again.
• The Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ is what it says it is: Another Testament of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
• Joseph Smith, Jr. was a divine prophet who truly saw our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and restored the fullness of the Gospel of Jesus Christ unto the Earth that we may all have the Gospel again.
• Thomas S. Monson is the true prophet of God and runs His church on the Earth today. President Monson and his counselors help the people of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and guide us so that we can return to our Heavenly Father.

Thank you to all of the neighbors who really were my village. Thank you for all of your sincere concern and care for me. It truly means the world to have good neighbors.

Thank you to all of the friends who have created a tight bond and have become my surrogate family. Thank you for making me feel loved and making Tennessee a home away from home. (Although, now Tennessee really IS home.)

Thank you to all of the family members who were my closest friends. Thank you for the countless memories and love that you have showered me in. Words can not express my love for you.

 

THANK YOU FOR MAKING A GREAT VILLAGE.